The Real Enemies
by StarBK201
Summary: Why is it that Ise hates the Shinigami Men’s Association so much? Can’t they both just coexist?


The Real Enemies

forgot this part- Disclaimer: I don't own anything, no original characters or phrases, only one volume of Bleach- don't sue

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"Since our last attempt at making money failed terribly -and rumor has it Byakuya Taicho is filing a restraining order against the whole organization- we need a new way to make a profit." Vice-president Nanao started "This time preferably without the use of the now members of the 'Shinigami Men's Association'."

"Let's sell CANDY!" the ever-respectable SWA president offered.

"Wouldn't you just eat it all?" responded a grouchy Soi Fong. "What about that 'jail an bail' thing here," she said as she pointed at one of the several ideas listed on the meeting's agenda handout. The list had been created by Rukia during a trip to the human world to learn their ways of raising money. "I can lock up bastards who do something stupid an charge them whatever I wan- we need to get out."

"I don't believe Yamamoto taicho would quite allow that." Nanao reminded.

"What about a carnival? We would have booths set up to sell food or crafts and have shows, we just charge admission." Isane proposed.

"As wonderful as that sounds, it would take too much time and money to organize and we would likely lose any profit earned in the process."

"Well" Matsumoto started exasperatingly "we could always go with my idea of a hos-"

"No host club damnit Matsumoto!" Soi Fong interrupted. Everyone seemed to be in a bad mood, a rather dark aura hung over the meeting room.

"We can't hold one of these "car wash" things since we don't have cars," added Unohana.

"Are you sure we can't exploit the guys in order to make money?" Kiyone asked timidly. "Because...I just remembered this thing Kuchiki–san mentioned that they have in the livng world…I think it would be perfect."

--

"Ahhahah!"

"Moe!"

"Look at the forbidden love!"

"This is the funniest stuff I've ever seen!"

A large mass of loud women had formed in the courtyard between the tenth and eleventh division below a large sign. The banner read "SWA Book Drive" and sure enough beyond the giggling mass Masumoto, Isane, Kiyone, Nanao, Soi Fong and Nemu shuffled back and forth around a stand covered in books. And to no one's surprise this type of congregation caught the attention of Kyouraku and Ukitake as they passed.

"What is this your selling Matsumoto?" Kyouraku-taicho questioned, maneuvering his way through the 'oo's and 'ahh's to reach the table.

"Just some manga the association came out with" she said offering him one to look at. "We've gotten quite a few requests now for one with you and Ukitake-taicho."

With his lazy smile he took the book from her. Flipping through some of the pages realization started to dawn on Shunsui sliding the smile off his face as he saw what those requests meant.

"What's wrong Shunsui?" questioned Ukitake noticing his friend's paling countenance. Shunsui handed him the manga and went after Nano.

"You wouldn't really make one of those with Jyu-chan and me would you Nanao-chan?" Kyouraku begged as he chased Nanao around the stand.

The noise had also started to attract members of the farther divisions as well as the members of the Shinigami Men's Association.

"Here fellas," Matsumoto offered with a smug grin "take a look at what's got this crowd going crazy." Hisagi took the outstretched book and brought it to their huddle.

"Shonen Ai Manga!" Hisgai, Kira, Iba, Omeada and Iemuro screamed.

"Ise Fukutaicho," Hisgai said defeatedly standing in front of the women who seemed to want his and all men's heads on a plate. "Why do you hate us so much? We just want to get together and wear sunglasses with our shirts off! Why are you out to terminate us?"

"Personally" Nanao replied adjusting her glasses "I believe it is ridiculous for there to be an organization such as yours when men already make up nearly ¾ of soul society's population and decision making sect."-breath-"But other than that I have no qualms with you. I think we could coexist, maybe even work together to accomplish common goals, but as vice-president I must follow the president's orders and she wishes to 'terminate' your club as you put it "

"huh..whaa…Yachiru!?"

"You should consider the enemies you've made in creating this association." Nanao said as if it was the most obvious logic. "Yachiru does not like that you haven't invited Kenpachi taicho to 'play', Soi Fong taicho detests your club for giving Omeada a big head- well bigger-, Matsumoto-san resents that Hitsugaya taicho is not a member, Kiyone-san believes that your meetings give Sentarou extra time with Ukitake taicho she can't have, and Nemu - mimicking the behavioral patterns of the others- feels you have done her father"–flinch-"an injustice by not inviting him-"

"And you hate us for not inviting Kyoraku taicho!" Iba interjected heatedly.

"No, not really. Without Ukitake taicho as an excuse to flee the division he's been more productive. Had he joined I would have had more damage reports to file I'm sure."

"So, let me get this straight," Hisagi said scratching his head "you don't hate us- well you do a little, but the reason manga of Kira and I as lovers are circulating Seireite in mass quantities is because everyone else in the SWA hates us?"

"In a nutshell, yes."

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**A/N Well what do you think? I couldn't find a reason for Unohana or Isane to hate them unfortunately ******** I didn't want Nanao having such a bad rep for picking on the guys so I blamed everyone else! And I can't remember the title but there is a hilarious fic out there where the SWA opens a host club.**

**I know it's not great, I can't write but I had to get it out of my head.**


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